The bitch is back

Yes, yes, I know. I have been an absent weave but it's not my fault! This hair piece has been busy! Now you know I don't discuss my "work life", but let's just say I was in Brooklyn doing a show last week but more importantly, spent 2 days admiring Ms. Beyonce's weave from up close. That ain't synthetic! I wonder how many small Cambodian children had to be shaved for that situation. The answer? More than Angelina can adopt!

The end of the week was a big fat cock of a blur. Work, sleep, work, Grey's Anatomy, sleep, work my weave, sleep. The weekend was quite a delight however as I attended Ms. Jen and Ms. Leah's Halloween fiesta at King Size on Saturday night. My creation of Maddox Jolie-Pitt fell through last minute and I dressed up as, well, nothing. After a few hundred well deserved adult cocktails, we rolled over to Stanton Social to gawk at potential investors (and by investors, I mean...well...I'm the stock and something's rising...Ka-ching!). We ended the evening at The Back Room and by 3AM, this weave was on it's way home. Sunday was a lovely shopping day in Soho with Ms. Kelly. We had a tasty dinner at Otto (where we spotted a sweatsuit laden Ivaka Trump) and had a little Sunday fun-day drinky drink time at Underbar before we retired.

Weekend Weaving

The weather is mild and tasty, yet still a bit too warm for my liking. Where are my low 60's at? Sweater weather, please! Last night, I met up with Ms. Carrie and Ms. Kelly at Bar Veloce for more than several glasses of wine before we rolled to a singles only party at Ms. Carrie's co-worker's home. After some more alcoholic consumption, we checked out the scene at The Bubble Lounge before going to Taylor. There's quite a cute bar downstairs and I'm strongly considering it for this year's Schmooze and Booze - November 13 - Mark your calendars and anuses! Mr. Evan came to meet us then we zipped up to Bugalow only to be wildly mortified by the packed 3AM crowd of New Jersey whores with rugburn on their cheeks and not so fresh vajayjays. I soon made my exit and here are we on a gorgeous Sunday...and I'm at the office. Awesome.

Is it Summer?

Are you in NYC? If so, then you'll understand my dilemma. It's indeed mid-October, yet the heat, humidity, and rain outside is makin my crazy ass weave think it's Summer! Al Gore, what what? Global warming? I can't hear you...but apparently my weave can! Sheesh! Where did my delicious Autumn weather go?

Yes indeed, my friends, this weave has been a busy one. Wednesday night saw the arrival of Ms. AJ back to NYC and we had a celebratory fete at Otto, complete with 3 bottles of rose-eh-eh and some tasty fare.

Last night, we had a gorgeous dinner at Rosa Mexicano (Thanks Ms. Lisa and Ms. Liz!) before we wandered over to Irving Plaza to see our Southern belles, Mutemath. If you like stadium rock with some Southern panache, you will love Mutemath. We said hello to the lads after the show then I went to the Blender Theater with Ms. Khadija, Mr. Isaac, and Ms. Jen to see new Brit sensation, Air Traffic, play as part of the CMJ Festival. The crowd was hipstery college kids with too much spandex and not enough common sense. There were more visible balls than a Christmas tree would allow. Have you heard of accidental teabagging? Watch where you swing those, mister!

Since You've Been Gone

I know I know...my weave is late in posting. It's been some crazy hectic shit these days. Working is for the birds and all I can say these days are "chirp mother fuckin chirp".

Let's see...Ms. Annie and I had a tasty dinner at Spice on Friday night before attending the Klaxons' show at Webster Hall. Apparently I love to hit up Webster on Friday nights to relive my college days and chill out with fat college girls. The crowd wasn't as horrendous as the Mark Ronson crowd...but any minute, I thought Stacey and Clinton would pop in and yell, "You've been selected to be on What Not to Wear because you're a heinous bitch!". That would be classic. The show was run of the mill and my weave wasn't very impressed.

Saturday was a brunch and shopping extravaganza with Ms. Berna. We worked our weaves at Jane through some deliciousness then strolled around Soho until our limbs gave up. The rest of the weekend was spent making sweet sweet love to my couch. We're really the new it couple. In fact, the blogs are calling us "Frouch". That's the hotness.

Last night, Ms. Berna and I met up at the Beacon Theatre to dance our hearts out to Mr. Jon McLaughlin and Ms. Kelly Clarkson (Thanks Christine!). It was quite the dance party, although the crowd was reminiscent of Roosevelt Field on a Sunday afternoon. Suburban and frightening, with a dash of Long Island gays. Post show, we met up with Ms. Mindy and had a gorgeous late night meal at Citrus then I cabbed straight home and retired my old ass weave.

Tardy Tardy

Hey you cocksuckers. Immense apologies for being so lackadaisical about posting lately but girl, this weave has been busy, ya heard?! Let's see...

Sunday night, Ms. Kelly and I had a tasty dinner, and more importantly, deepthroated a lovely bottle of wine at Otto before heading over to The Spotted Pig for more cocktails, and eventually ending at Dublin before passing out. Monday night, I had a gorgeous dinner with Ms. Shelby at The Odeon to catch up on all things high school. Holla at the past! Tuesday night, Ms. Sara from London, Ms. Sara from NY, Ms. Carrie, Mr. Abby and I had a lovely pow wow at Balthazar's. Nothing like some sensual French fare and chatter about foreskin, travelling, people we don't like, and other general luxuries in life to spice up a Tuesday night. Yesterday was a big ol hot mess. As you know, I don't give details about my "work life" but let's just say I was in NEW JERSEY all day, working my weave for a show with THE BOSS. Honey, he's not the boss of me, but there you have it.

Marky Mark

Last night, a bunch of us went to Webster Hall for the Mark Ronson show and honey, it was a hot mess. Let me think of the best way to describe the crowd. Imagine there's a Sadie Hawkins dance at NYU and only the fat girls went and took their ambiguously unattractive gay friends. Throw in some straight guys from Long Island who think Tiesto is "the shit" and there you have it. Basically everyone was a total dump truck and about 19 years old. Seriously.

Mark was fine although homeslice has a bit of the Madonnas. He would sort of weave in and out of some Eminem inspired vernacular (girl, you know what I mean) then all of a sudden be more British than his own foreskin. It was quite odd.

Since Marky Mark doesn't sing, he brought out a slue of including the infamous Daniel Merriweather, Alex Greenwald, Santo Gold, and some other losers. The show was fine but not ass tingling good.

I am hip hop.

Last night was a frenzy at Hip Hop Honors held at the Hammerstein Ballroom. I worked my weave at the red carpet catching glimpses of all the hip hop royalty, then proceeded to the first mezzanine for some lovely open bar and tasty appetizers. The Missy tribute was totally heaven and features some amazing performances. The rest of the show happened, but I was much more involved with my vodka Sprites to notice. Check it out on VH1 Monday 10/8.

A gaggle of us rolled to the afterparty at Providence for some more free drinks and a mini dance party. The VIP room was full of all our D-list friends: Salt N Pepa, Kerry Washington, Tweet, and Ice T and his fun bags, Coco. A total scene. The Surreal Life...come to life!