Whirlwinds are tiring

Well, in the past 48 hours, I've managed to go to LA and back and damn is my weave tired! I got to LA mid-afternoon on Tuesday (Thank goodness for the business class upgrade!), dropped off my baggage (physical, not emotional), and went straight to my version of my "LA office" a.k.a. the cafe at Fred Segal. I worked for a bit, then Ms. Liza and Mr. Dylan dropped by to say hello before their cross country drive/move back to MA. After a lovely coffee, I headed down to Barney's and did some roaring damage before heading down to the Avalon Hotel for some late afternoon / pre-dinner cocktails with Ms. Pauline. Holla at my Rose wine!

After some weave refreshers, I met Ms. Jessica and Ms. Mindy at Koi and we had an absolutely delicious dinner. I also spotted my occasional dining partner and friend to blow Calum Best (sans Promises alum Lindsay) with a mysterious blond girl and some LA douchebag looking guy. The table next to us was a bloated Dennis Haskins aka Mr. Belding who's so hot on the LA scene right now (Who the hell knows why?). If he shows up at Les Deux, I'll pee laughing. As we were wrapping up with dinner (Holla at my 5 mochi balls!), Terrence Howard and a gaggle of ladies turned up. All in all, the celeb sightings were D-list...just the way I like them!

I had a grueling shoot all day Wednesday then had some time before getting back to the airport so I took a spin through the Beverly Center then had a gorgeous dinner on the patio at the Four Seasons. What a cast of characters at that spot. There were your usual LA douchebag guys talking way to loud about something entertainment industry related hoping that someone sitting around them will care, some nasty looking golddiggers bobbing on the limp dicks of rich 80 year olds, and the socialite set that has nothing better to do than drink and dine (Hi friends!).

And now I'm back in NY and it's sweltering and my weave is not happy.

Manic Mondays

Ahh the glorious pleasures of not working on a holiday Monday and spending an entire day boozing and shopping. Yes, that's right, people. I met Ms. Nicola for a scrumptious brunch at Soho House (we recommend the Artichoke, Spinach, and Roquefort salad and ask for some fingerling potatoes) before Ms. Stefanie and Mr. Kansas came to join us to "talk business". A few drinks later and Ms. Nicola and I decided to brave the "this is not cute" heat and shop through the West Village and Soho. Many cocktails, frozen yogurt, and afternoon snacks were consumed along the way and now I'm home fixin my humid ass weave before flying to LA tomorrow. I desperately miss my friend Fred Segal and need to shove a dildo in his ass and yell "Holla"! See you on the West Coast, my fellow socialites!

Long weekends are, like, awesome

Hallelujah! It's a long weekend and I don't have to work. What a delicious treat. I rarely spend Memorial Day weekend stateside but I will fully admit, NYC is amazing when it's empty. No lines at restaurants, bars have seating...loves it! I hope all you peeps are having a nice LONG weekend as well. Have a glass of Rose and stick a dildo in your ass!

American Loser

Well, as they say, it ain't over until the fat lady sings...and she indeed did! Ms. Piggy, erm, Ms. Jordin Sparks won the whole dog and pony show and was crowned the youngest American Idol. Little butt boy Blake was so "happy" for her, but he was genuinely only interested in going backstage and mounting Ms. Chris Richardson, who came back along with some of the other voted off peeps. Use a condom!

Let's chat about Ms. Bette Midler for a moment. Now I've got to love her because we're all the wind beneath each other's wings (Isn't that really just a quief?) but exactly how much plastic surgery has Ms. Bathhouse Betty had? Her face was tighter than one of R. Kelly's girlfriend's vajayjays! Botox? Check! Face Lift? Check! Ass fat implanted into her cheeks? Check!

And what about Ms. Kelly Clarkson? After appearing to be a patient on TLC's Brookhaven Obesity Clinic a few weeks ago in that gorgeous, erm, muu muu, she came back in a strappy number to proclaim, "No, America! I'm only bottom heavy...but my back is fat free!"

The highlight of the evening was clearly my girl, Ms. Melinda Doolittle. Her gospel renditions were delicious and the girls' group singalong with Ms. Gladys Knight was gorgeous. Take me on that Midnight Train, honey! Although Ms. Gladys might be sharing a plastic surgeon with Ms. Bette...

My head feels like a ballerina

As a drunken socialite, I always forget the golden rule. It's a lesson I've learned time and again. No dinner plus open bar equals a wack ass weave...and that's the shit I'm sporting today - I be lookin a hot mess, baby.

Last night, I attended a fabulous event to support an organization that provides treatment to breast cancer patients with no insurance. Like most events in NYC of this nature, no one had a clue why they were there but we all certainly knew there was open bar and gift bags. Big ups to Mr. Mikey for hookin the peeps up and introducing us to Jojo and Mya. What sweet ladies! Mya's performance was delicious as well. So were my four Blueberry Stoli's on the rocks! Also a big hello to Mr. Richie Rich - You are fab!

Then we zipped over to Retox but apparently were "early" when we were already 30 minutes late, so we swung over to Brite Bar for a few glasses of wine before heading back to Retox to dance the night away. Mr. Vinnie sure can throw a party and Fat Man Scoop DJ'ed some lovely tunes.

THEN, this drunken socialite zipped down to 14th Street for Richie's Happy Endings party at Lotus. More drinks but my weave was very sleepy so I had to get my situation home. Face down on the couch and good night!

Pardon Me While I Blog

Profuse apologies for not have been an active blogger the past few days! I had a strenuous 2 day shoot that took me to many apartments around the city, and damn is my weave tired!

The weekend was lovely (well, the one day that I had of it). Saturday, I went to a "last day of freedom" party for Ms. Rebecca (very Paris chic) at Jimmy's No. 43. It had an intense Euro flair, which certainly got me excited. Like a responsible lady, I went home promptly after, glanced at SNL, and was face down before you could say, "Face down".

Tonight, I am attending a breast cancer benefit with Mya and Jojo, then hitting Mr. Vinnie's birthday soiree. Happy Birthday Vinnie!

Details to come...hopes and wishes that I'll be face down soon...

Friday never looked so good

This week is finally over. Someone console me with a butter knife in the ass, please. Churn, baby, churn! What a week! My life as a socialite is really being effected by this so-called "working". I need to stop.

Last night, I had some delicious adult beverages with Ms. Karen at the Hotel on Rivington. It was lovely to catch up one on one before we headed to The Back Room for Ms. Maitee's "Moving to LA" party. I hope my "Moving to LA" party will be as much fun when I flee NYC! Many cocktails later, I was whisked home in a cab and face down before I knew it (Get your minds out of the gutter, people...).

I just had the pleasure of watching the first episode of My Life on the D List, Season 3. It's hysterical! I am just so grateful that the afterparty of the Carnegie Hall that I attended did not make it to air. I, like a massive tool, took a photo with Ms. Kathy and would be mortified if I saw myself on air looking like such a douchebag!

Check out the episode here: http://video.bravotv.com/player/?id=103294