The Hills Ho's

Well, tonight was the season finale of The Hills. Let's start the shit talking, shall we?

The big news was of course idiot stick figure with no soul Heidi moved in with the other idiot stick figure with no soul Spencer. After watching this season, I say...Fuck it. Those two special needs cases deserve each other. Let them both merrily cheat on each other and swap STD's until their genitals fall off. So over it!

Another important point to mention...what the fuck is up with Heidi's co-workers, Elodie and the Frodo? They are so damn busted! They both look like old trannies with bad weaves! I know MTV is running out of money and might have had to save on a Casting Director but um hello (!?!?!)...wasn't there a toothless homeless man on Sunset with an affinity towards public urination available? Anyone else would have been better!

I feel bad for LC...not because she got screwed over by Heidi, but that she was dumb enough to let Audrina move in! Can you get HPV from a toilet seat? You know that nasty ho's got it! Watch out LC!

I've always thought Brody was a massive tool, and tonight proved no exception when he and Spencer had their lame "male bonding" talk. I hope they both fall into a fault line and disappear.

Now I know the old farts at MTV love to over-produce a show and write "interesting storyboards", but this particular episode was SO faked! It felt far too produced and so many of the scenes were clearly set up. Also, the blatant display of mic packs on their asses was ridiculous. Time for a turnover, baby.

I also had the displeasure of watching part of Taquita and Kaui on mute while chatting with Mis Kelly to recap the show. Who greenlit this monstrosity of a show? First of all, are they really women? Chicks with dicks, anyone? They look like ugly trannies!

And now I'm watching the Hills aftershow and I gots two words for Mis Whitney...KAREN CARPENTER. Excuse me, but was the show called The Hills...or The Pills?!?! Trimspa, baby! Some one's been finger banging their own mouth for the past few months. Baby, you look like a lollipop head. Please eat something. You were pretty busted to begin with, and now you're just really skinny...and busted.

And who are these nasty Jersey girls with bad boob jobs co-hosting the show? And why is horse face Hillary Duff via satellite?