David Archuleta: Momo sang Ben E King's Stand By Me and Elvis Presley's Love Me Tender and per usual, he was incredible! His voice was clean and on pitch and to the delight of ladies and mo's across the country, he sported an ensemble so gay even Clay Aiken would say, "Oh no Miss Thang, I would NOT be wearin' that tight little t-shirt, honey. Oh yeah, and I'm not datin' anyone because I haven't found the right...girl...GRRRLLLLL". Lucky for Momo, the judges loved his performances last night so someone didn't get the belt from Papa Joe 2.0.
David Cook: Buttplug sang Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf and The Who's "Baba O'Riley and although I find him to be a faux rock imitation of a pile of steaming garbage, he sure did turn it out last night. I am finding Ms. Cook to be more and more like brussels sprouts. It looks sort of familiar (What's up cabbage), looks somewhat unappealing, but with the right amount of Cheese Wiz, it goes down smoothly and you feel somewhat satisfied. But the problem is that if you eat too much of it, you'll be shooting diarrhea from here til Friday.
Jason Castro: He sang Bob Marley's I Shot the Sheriff and Bob Dylan's Mr. Tambourine Man. I don't even know where to start. Now you all know I love this dreaded wonder, but I would have rather seen a Star Jones sex tape where she's dressed up like a donkey and Big Gay Al is shouting "I love backdoor!" than re-watch those 2 nightmarish performances again. I hate to say it, but this hot tranny mess has got to go home tonight. There is no way he can sustain another week. Someone please send his ass back to Rockwall, TX and introduce him to a Flowbee.
Syesha Mercado: She sang Tina Turner's Proud Mary and Sam Cooke's A Change Is Gonna Come and all I have to say (again) is WOW WOW WOW! Is someone taking B12 shots because girlfriend is turning it out! From the Top 12, I thought there was no chance that she would make it past a few eliminations and now she is proving us wrong, and rightfully so! She was such a precious peanut when she started sobbing and perhaps I got moist (upstairs) as well!
At this point, I really have NO idea who will win. I was certain that the top 2 would be the two David's but Syesha's recent jump start has got be reconsidering. Au revoir to Miss Castro tonight and let's see what happens next week!
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