Camp Unemployment

Good morning campers! Today we have a very packed itinerary which includes job hunting, sleeping, fine dining in the (Girl-You-A) Mess Hall, job hunting, napping, and heavy drinking. I will be your camp counselor, Master Ho. Please don't forget your unemployment cards...You can't leave home without it.

Yes, welcome to Drunk Frank's blog y'all. It's true...I am a total "has been" and will now blog to my colon's content to fill my otherwise miserable days. Much like Britney, I once was a rising star but now...well, "hot mess" doesn't even come close to precisely defining my current status.

Let's recap today's events, shall we? At the break of afternoon, I finally hauled ass out of bed, scrubbed up for an exciting day, then beached myself on the couch, snacking on take out and Weight Watchers ice cream bars. Yes, I'm really setting the mood here. Mid-afternoon, I decided to hit the Penny Arcade at the local Commerce Bank on Wall Street. Looking disheveled and borderline homeless, I wandered down Wall, fighting the human traffic of those leaving the Stock Market. Pink shirts, Gucci suits, all the preppy cunts going back to Greenwich were present, and like a bowling ball rolling upstream, I trekked. I did manage to turn in $175.18 in change, however. Who knew pocket change could amount to so much?

This evening, I had dinner at Momofuku Ssam in the East Village and fighting the bitter cold, I am back in my apartment watching some fat losers on American Idol. I haven't followed too closely this season, but apparently the Special Olympics are in town and drool off your double pimple-infested chin isn't a hinderance to "this singing competition".