Dear Ms. Janice Dickinson,
Just because Britney and Paris did it, it doesn't mean you have to also! Why are you spreading your legs for the paparazzi? You know your vagina is old, smelly, stretched out, and not cute. So you decided to cover it with a panty liner? That's even worse. We know Aunt Flow left town years ago, and although she sends you little monthly reminders that those eggs are scrambled, WE don't all need to see that! Please, have the decency to cross your legs. Even trannies think you're too man-like. We know you can do it. It's all about faith.
Hugs and Kisses,
XOXO
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