Good morning all. No, your lovely eyes are not deceiving you. I am indeed awake and decidedly not hungover. Experience has taught me that hangovers are for college kids and Scientologists. Last night's debauchery at the Tribeca Grand was quite fun and we drank until last call, naturally.
Today, I awake to so much gossip that I need to comment on.
Lindsay's new blond hair? No bitch, it's not cute. You look like a blond version of Heidi Fleiss. Did Britney call you and tell you that would be, like, totally cute and rad? It's not. Dye it back.
Jake and Reese? It's possible, but they're probably just humping. I don't get how these 2 underwhelming actors became so big. Yes, they're talented, if you like Donnie Darko and Legally Blond (1 and 2, duh), but all this attention? And isn't Reese the highest paid actress now? This is ridiculous.
Amy Winehouse is a cokehead? How is this news? Well, no shit she is. It might be news if she was snorting household cleaners. Baby, I just did three lines of Pine Sol! But coke? Ohhh! What if she was snorting coke off of Kate Moss' boobs with Pete? Now THAT's news.
John and Jessica in Rome? Um, how do you spell FAKE RELATIONSHIP? The only one fucking Jess is Joe.
Ok, I need to go lie down and watch The View.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment