Work that weave, Lady Liberty! Take that torch and ram it in your vajayjay!
Indeed, it's the 4th of July, an American tradition where fat Americans drink beer, eat hot dogs, and get even fatter. How grand. It's a stunner that I haven't fled the country for this day but my weave has been a busy one.
The weather is a bit dismal out and there's a chance of rain this evening so the fireworks may be a bust. I might need to cozy up with a Kathy Griffin D List situation for the day, put on a seaweed mask, and maybe to be patriotic, shove a (veggie) hot dog up my a-hole.
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