Reality Recap

Well, I've spent the entire evening watching so much reality TV that I feel compelled to comment on it.

Let's start with The Hills (rerun from Monday's premiere). What exactly is wrong with Spencer? He exceeds the highest peak of true "tool-dom" and is possible one of the most ridiculously arrogant and annoying people I've ever "met". He is such a raging douchebag that even Summer's Eve is like, "Even we're not like that". And Heidi...girl, get it together. I understand that you are potentially one of the dumbest people in LA, but even you're too good for that jerk. And the best part? He's not even cute!

I will always love LC. She can do no wrong in my eyes (except maybe lose 10 pounds), but potato potatoe...just don't eat it.

Audrina may be runner up for 2nd dumbest in LA. She looks like the type of girl who secretly reads self-help books because she'll never understand "I'm just not that into you". You can also tell...She totally takes it up the ass.

MOVING on...America's Next Top Model. Tonight's episode is the first I've seen. Let's start with Jael. Girl, my colon is cuter than you. Why do they let these girls on the show? She is HEINOUS looking. And to top it off, she has that Lindsay Lohan chain smoker voice. I get it...you're so punk rock. Your friend OD'ed. You're so Pete Doherty. Shut the fuck up and kick that ho off the show.

And what's up with Brittany? She cries at EVERYTHING. She's so annoying and if I didn't know better, I'd hang that ho by her weave. NOT CUTE!

And speaking of not cute...Um...Miss Tyra...what is going on with the knit skull cap you were rocking in the elimination round?? It looked like a half rolled on condom on your head. Not cute!

Finally, American Idol. Let's start. Diana Ross. Girl, you're OVER. I understand you're a "legend", but you are no longer relevent. You are tone deaf, pitchy, flabby, and not cute. Just take your money, watch Dreamgirls, and call it a day.

This show is all about my girl, Melinda Doolittle! She can do NO wrong. Love love love her! Her song stylings are just so delicious and beautiful. If she doesn't win, I am going to light Ryan's hair gel with a cig so that everyone can see he's a flamer...