Even in my state of constant vomitting and shitting, I certainly was not going to miss this week's episode of The Hills. I do have priorities, people.
Where should we begin? How about the introduction of Jason's new fiance, Pascha? Who let the trannie out? Doesn't she sort of look like a bleached out version of Audrina? They could be lesbian sisters! She seems like a total cunt and even that drunk Jason could do better. I thought Lauren's eyes were going to bulge out of her head when Jason mentioned her for the first time.
And what about Spencer and Heidi? This storyline is getting wicked tired and boring. I'm surprised they didn't go to Babes in Toyland to register for dildos and vaginal wash. They sure look like they need it! I wonder what will happen with these two. It seems like the wedding is going to get called off very soon. And what about Heidi in a wedding dress? Hot mess!
Finally, Whitney had some plotline this week, however the whole thing was so contrived that I could barely be bothered to pull my finger out of my ass (it was a preventative measure). I loved how Lisa Love put the smack down on her and said, "If anything goes wrong, it's all your fault". No pressure! Could they not have booked a better band that Red Jumpsuit Apparatus though? Was Jefferson Starship not available? Boring! And let's talk about the final frame of Whitney walking away with Lauren. Homebitch is skinny! You never notice how skinny she is because her face is rather full and horselike, but as soon as she stands up...damn! Karen Carpenter called and wants her body back!
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