Save the Music

My weave attended the Save the Music Gala last night and it was quite an event. It was held at the Tent behind the Lincoln Center and was celeb galore so let me break it down.

Mariah Carey: Someone's on the cabbage diet! She looked amazing! When she came out of her SUV, swarms of fans were on the street and they all started screaming and chanting "Mariah". Rather than being rushed right onto the carpet, she told her security she wanted to say hi to the people and crossed over and signed autographs, took pictures, etc. I'm sure she did it because she's an attention whore and needs the adoration, but I still thought that was pretty nice. It was quite odd though that every time before anyone took a picture with or of her (photogs, fans, etc), she had her makeup artist touch her up. I guess she doesn't want to be shiny, even in some random fan's photo of her. Insecurity called!

Bill Clinton: He's my hero so I won't mention the fact that he could use about 25 chemical peels and more cucumbers on those bags than he can muster. Loves him.

John Mayer: He's working a new shorter weave and some bronzer that would have made Jessica jealous. He actually looked quite good cleaned up and his weave wasn't out of control per usual.

Conan O'Brien: That is one tall ginger. He was hysterical as usual.

Jon Bon Jovi: Homeslice has definitely had some cosmetic surgery done lately. He was pulled back so far that his ears were actually on MY head. That's hard to manage. He performed well (and with John Mayer on guitar) and sounded good.

Tim Gunn: This old lady is...well, old! I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with him, but I have a feeling he's what John Norris is destined to be. Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if those two sit around on the weekends and play with a deck of "Old Maid" cards, and their penises.

Roger Waters: He may be a legend, but he could definitely use a stylist, a makeup artist, a hair groomer, a new body, a new face, and a new attitude. He was friendly with the "public school children" though.

Pat O'Brien: What exactly is wrong with him? He was just sort of lurking about and peering at the kids. I have a feeling he was fantasizing about the little girls "bobbing for apples" in his pants. Gross!

Maria Menounos: This talentless hooker was the host of the event. Bad choice! Was Elizabeth Hasslebeck unavailable? To me, those two idiots are cut from the same plastic that they make the Purple Penetrator with. Not interested!

The event was gorgeous and we spent much of the evening chatting with Ms. Mya. She's charming and beautiful and that's all I need to be happy. Afterwards, we hit the after party at The Empire Hotel and Ms. Berna came to join in on the festivities. Mr. Nick Lachey hosted and I almost moved in into the open bar. It's a bad sign when bartenders at a big event can remember your drink order. Ms. Vanessa was also there and was sweet and chatty as always.